Early Summer Rain
by orlha
Summary: Having parents doesn't always mean it's a good thing and just because scars can't be seen doesn't mean they don't exist. The Chuunin Exams leaves Sakura an orphan and she doesn't cry. [Sakura centric AU] [Where Tsunade isn't Sakura's teacher]
1. Chapter 1

**Genre:** Action ; Drama  
 **Ship:** Kakashi & Sakura  
 **Triggers(s):** Angst, Implied child abuse, Mental health issues, depression  
 **Rating:** M **  
A** **dditional Tags:** Sasuke doesn't appear much in this, fuck Sasuke, BAMF!Sakura, Kakashi as a good teacher

* * *

Sakura stands at the entrance of the hospital, staring out at Konoha. A war of emotions churns in her as she repeats the words the nurse had told her only moments ago.

 _I'm sorry, your parents are dead. They were crushed by the falling building._

The Chuunin Exams leaves Sakura an orphan and part of her wants to sob, the other part feels so light. She is free.

She touches her trembling lips, unaware of the tears trailing down her dirty face. She'll need to settle their funeral, settle any inheritance she received from them.

 _What inheritance?_ Inner snarks. _Me?_

She doesn't answer Inner because Inner doesn't exist. She's only a fragmented part of herself that Sakura had untethered in order to survive, a method she had gotten the inspiration from Ino's family jutsu, albeit unhealthy method.

She makes her way back to the house she lived in for the last twelve years and stares at it. Sakura could feel a clawed hand scraping up her spine, the bitter aftertaste settling at the back of her throat.

They are dead, she reminds herself. They have no more power over her.

Her limbs shudder when she forces herself to take a step towards the dark house.

"Oh, that does look bad," a male voice remarks beside her. She forces herself not to twitch, instead turning her head like she had known he was there. Sakura knows that she had not fooled her teacher, but he doesn't call her out.

"It does, doesn't it?" Sakura is surprised that she managed to keep her voice light.

Her house is smashed on one side, the beams had collapsed inwards - the beams that killed her parents.

 _Sage praise the beams._ Inner sings.

Sakura hushes Inner. Her parents just died, how could she be happy? More importantly how could she not?

"I came to tell you that all genin teams are being ordered to do D ranks until further notice," Sensei paused and heaved a sigh.

Sakura didn't entertain thoughts that sensei actually liked her. She knew it all too well with his nonchalant attitude towards her. It was difficult to impress her teacher when her parents starved her. Rations bar only went so far. They weren't meant for yearlong use or at least yearlong usage without any supplements. They provided the required nutrients a body merely required to maintain itself. Most shinobi supplemented their diet with fruits and animals from the wild.

"But where are you and your parents going to stay while they rebuild the village?" Sensei continued, oblivious of her dark thoughts.

 _In the morgue,_ Inner sneers. _Should have stabbed them, before we left._

"Ahhh… Somewhere." Sakura shrugs. She could hardly ask Ino to take her in, not after how their Chuunin Exam fight had gone and she had no other friends. "I'll probably ask Ino-chan, " she lies with an exaggerated mournful sigh.

Sensei eyes her long enough that Sakura wonders if he would call her out on her lie. He doesn't.

"Well then, six am tomorrow at the mission building," he only says and dismisses himself with a hand seal.

Right. A kage bunshin. Sensei wouldn't have spent so much time talking to her if he had been here in person. She stuffs the thoughts into the team seven box at the back of her mind and stares at the house, willing herself to do something, decide something.

 _Pathetic._ Inner sneers again. _I'm sure there's shelters for the homeless somewhere. Or maybe Sa-Sasuke-kuuunnn can take us in._

She can hear the condescension dripping from Sasuke-kun's name. Mama would take- Sakura stops the thought.

Mama is dead. She doesn't have to pretend to kiss Sasuke's ass anymore.

Finally, Sakura lets the grin dance across her face. "I am _free_ ," she finally whispers. Laughter bubbling out of her chest. She crouches, her shoulders shaking with suppressed joy. The freedom that she finally gained all these years doesn't taste as good as she thought it would be. Shouldn't she be sad that they're dead? Or is she sad but don't know how to express it?

Mama said that girls should only cry when it is to take advantage of a situation. There's no situation here to take advantage of. She sobers herself up and stands. By now the sun has almost already set. Her limbs ache from helping with low ranked messenger runs and the administration building is a good thirty-minute walk from here.

 _There's training ground thirty-two around the bend. Bet with everything going on, no one is gonna be training now._ Inner suggests.

Sakura unseals a ration bar, making her way to training ground thirty-two. It's empty like Inner said it would be. Sleeping on the trees wouldn't be comfortable, but she's slept in worse places.

✥.✥.✥

Sakura has always been Kakashi's easiest student. Or rather, not student. Unlike his other fellow jounin who are sensei as well, he didn't believe in trying to motivate his students. Initiative and eagerness is rewarded and with Sakura's the lack of any interest to improve he had written her off quickly. Even with the aftermath of the terrible clusterfuck of a mission, Sakura had happily continued her ridiculous diet, always hurrying home when he dismissed them.

Kakashi had guessed then, that she would never amount anything beyond genin corps. That was fine, he supposed. Konoha would always need the corps to keep the wheels running smoothly. There isn't any shame in being one. All he needs is to make sure that either Sasuke or Naruto would be promoted and Team Seven would effectively be disbanded. He would take on which that hadn't been promoted and apprentice him then send Sakura to the genin corps.

And as much as he didn't have interest in his female student, he wasn't going to be _that_ bad of a sensei and not follow up on why his student smells of tears and fear or why the house she lived in stunk of blood.

He swallows a sigh at his clone's memories and ambles to the hospital. Perhaps her parents had been injured? He waves at the receptionist before picking up the list of injured civilians. Flipping through the twelve page list, he goes through it once then twice. His stomach sinks at the varying possibilities.

"Saa…" Kakashi leans over to the blonde receptionist, noting the uncanny shade of blonde closely resembled those from the Yamanaka. She tilted her head in response, who paused in her writing and arched a well-groomed eyebrow at him. "Do you know where I can find… Haruno Mebuki and Haruno Kizashi, Receptionist-san?"

"Oh, poor Kizashi passed away."

He frowned. Kizashi's loss would be quite heavily felt with the considerably high toll of casualties. Kakashi knew of Kizashi even though he had never been personally treated by him. He had been a decent medic, a kind and gentle one too if he remembers correctly.

"What is your relation to them?"

His fingers twitches for the orange book hidden in his pouch. No. Running from hospital right now wouldn't be the definition of a good teacher. His student, no matter how useless he thought she was, needed him now. Kakashi mentally squares his shoulders for responsibility.

"I'm Haruno Sakura's jounin-sensei."

"Oh! Good." The blonde receptionist stands and Kakashi can see the nametag on the rather generous chest. Minori Akemi, it reads. Perhaps a parent is a Yamanaka? He absentmindedly takes the proffered forms from Akemi's hand, casting a lazy eye across it.

 _What._

One registration form for cremation, an orphan assistance form and... He stiffens. Two death certificates.

"Poor kid, she ran out before I could get her to sign these." Akemi slides the clipboard to him with an attached pen. "If you'd sign here to acknowledge that you've received this."

Kakashi barely remembers his father's funeral. Minato-sensei had taken care most of it then. Money. "Does she have money for their funerals?" he asks and cringes at the awkwardness of his question.

Akemi shakes her head. "I don't think her parents left her anything. Perhaps you should check with the Shinobi Law Office?"

Sakura's mother was a merchant right?

Kakashi signs a henonomoji on acknowledgement slip and flickers to the Shinobi Law Office feeling like a money-grubbing civilian. He's here to check if his student has inheritance from parents that aren't even buried yet. Scratch the _feeling_ , he _is_ a money-grubbing civilian considering that almost fifty percent of the people in the queue are civilians. He is almost tempted to use his jounin rank to skip the queue except Aoba is manning the counters today.

Oh shodaime's balls. Aoba would never let him hear the end of it.

He stands in the queue for thirty minutes longer and looks upward at the pale yellow ceiling, thinking which idiot would paint a wall pale yellow. The queue shifts forward just a little. It's like they're taunting him. Maybe he should stop making people wait for him so long. Kakashi waits another five then snaps, flickering to the front of the queue.

"You owe me lunch," Aoba grins to Kotetsu beside him. "Told you he wouldn't wait for the entire distance."

"Sage's balls, couldn't you wait like ten minutes more?" Kotetsu stamps on a form hard, sliding it back to an old man.

In another time, Kakashi might have snarked back. He thinks of all the things he would need to arrange for Sakura and imagines the kind of talk he would need to give her. She already cried so she wouldn't cry again, right?

"Aoba, I need to check if Haruno Kizashi and his civilian wife, Haruno Mebuki left anything for Haruno Sakura," he says briskly.

"Haruno Kizashi-" Aoba sends his thought to the six other shadow clones in the archives. A short minute later, his shadow clone appears with a single paper. Shouldn't inheritances and wills should be thicker?

Aoba readjusts his glasses, lips thinning into a single line."Odd. Looks like they only left her a house."

Kakashi rips the sheet from Aoba's hands. Sakura only got the house because the other people in her clan didn't qualify for it. What kind of parents would leave their relatives things and forget their own daughter? He barely reads the paper that Aoba makes him sign before flickering over to the funeral services and by the time he's settled everything, it's dark.

His shadow clone reports that Shikamaru had dragged Naruto to the Nara house so he doesn't need to worry about Naruto for now. Sasuke is _still_ out training though by now Kakashi knows that unless he forces Sasuke to stop with threats, nothing would stop him Sasuke will be as fine as he always have been. Or at least for one day.

He hops over to the Yamanaka's house and peers into Ino's room feeling like he's doing a Jiraiya except it's a _thirteen year old girl's_ room. He definitely needs a shower after this.

 _Ugh_ , he's never doing this again.

The hair on back of his neck stand. "Hatake-san, may I know what you're doing?" Inoichi calls out from the shade of the tree.

"Yamanaka-san, Nara-san," he crinkles his eye at the two clan heads. "May I know which room Sakura-chan is in?"

"Sakura-chan?" Inoichi furrows his eyebrows. "Why would she be here?"

Huh, his little pink hair student managed to lie quite convincingly to him. He feels slightly proud of her and deflates.

"Maa… I guess I heard incorrectly." Now he has to find where she went to.

✥.✥.✥

Sakura wakes in a manner that is slow yet paradoxically sudden, disoriented by the odd position she had fallen asleep in and the the presence on the branch next to her.

"Twenty minutes, Sakura-chan," Sensei says and flips a page. "We need to work on your awareness."

She blinks blearily, wondering why her teacher was there on the tree with her and how did he read in the dark?

"Uss timmme uuss?" she mumbles, shifting. There's a shuriken print blanket on her that she knows she didn't have when she fell asleep and ewww- it smells like dog.

"Five-fifty am," he replies.

"Oh. Stillll arly-" she yawns then freezes. "It's five-fifty! We were supposed to meet Naruto and Sasuke-kun at six!" She leaps up, running a hand through her hair, deftly folding the blanket up.

"Maa maa, there's no hurry." Sensei lazily yawns. "How about we first go and get cleaned up then get breakfast?" Without waiting for her to reply, he grabs her by the shoulder and flickers them into an apartment.

"Did you just break into someone's apartment?" Sakura tightens her arms around the blanket, staring wide-eyed at the somewhat bare apartment. The couch in the middle of the living room looked like it could fall apart if she just sets the blanket on it and the dining table has one single ratty chair. "If you were going to break into someone's apartment, couldn't it be a nicer one? Instead of a hobo's one…"

"How mean, Sakura-chan saying my apartment is a hobo apartment." Sensei wipes a fake tear from his eye and sets his hand on his chest.

"Sensei, I-"

He waves off her apologies and points to a door. "The bathroom's over there, do you have a towel?"

It wasn't like she had her fanny pack when she went to the stadium. Her parents had been home that day, it had been difficult enough sneaking out of the house. And all the showers she had since then had been a quick rinse in the genin corps. They had needed so many couriers that it hadn't mattered if she was part of the corps or not. It wasn't as if her team cared for her.

Sensei drops a towel on her head. "There's soap and shampoo inside already. You can use Pakkun's strawberry one." He crinkles an eye and shoves her into the bathroom. "After all you use the same shampoo."

"I don't use that one anymore," she whines but doesn't really argue. She's so tired of pretending. Mama always said that good girls hide their true emotions. She strips her dirty clothes off, throwing them into the sink to wash later and steps under the shower, bracing herself for the icy cold water. The water is warm unlike the showers she took at the home. Are showers supposed to be this warm? Holding a hand out, she stares at it in amazement.

 _Hurry, or else Kakashi will get mad for wasting water,_ Inner says.

She hurries through her shower, wiping herself dry with the soft, thick towel and dons her clothes again.

Well this is as good as it gets, she says to herself.

There is the aroma of grilled fish and rice when she steps out. Sensei wearing an apron, setting food out like a housewife. Sakura barely holds the grin back. She wouldn't want to offend sensei any further, she's heard of stories how jounin-senseis would make life difficult for their students and eventually doom them to genin corps, or worse, get them killed. Sensei said that he would protect them, but all adults lie. The only person that can protect herself is herself.

 _And me,_ Inner adds.

Oh no, she forgot to clean the towel. "Uh-uhm..." Sakura flushes and holds the towel out, bowing her head. "Sorry, I forgot to clean your towel."

He hums and reaches over- Sakura clamps her reflexes down, allowing him to take the towel without any reaction. She breathes a sigh of relief when he only pulls it open and sets it on the single chair.

"Well, eat up. I'll be back in a moment."

"Is that all…" Sakura starts and trails off when sensei disappears, the apron fluttering onto the counter, before she could finish her sentence. "...for me?" She eyes the large bowl of rice and whole grilled fish with trepidation. She hadn't had so much to eat in like… forever.

Her stomach clenches unhappily and she gulps.

Better get to it.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I was persuaded to put this on FFn... Please don't make me regret it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort ; Drama  
 **Ship:** Kakashi & Sakura  
 **Triggers(s):** Angst, Implied child abuse, Mental health issues, depression  
 **Rating:** M **  
A** **dditional Tags:** Sasuke doesn't appear much in this, fuck Sasuke, BAMF!Sakura, Kakashi as a good teacher

* * *

Sakura struggled to keep up with her sensei as he weaves through the morning crowd. "Sensei?" She calls out, her stomach churning from the too-full feeling. He doesn't pause or even indicate hearing her calls, his unkempt hair just inches above the crowd like a wisp of onibi guiding her to somewhere ominous.

Where is he bringing her to? Her gut twists like that time she accidentally drank some of Ino's mum's poison. Sakura falls back far enough that Sensei notices and he loops back to her; his tall figure cutting through the crowd with ease.

"Sensei, mission room is in the other district." she says, trying not to give in to the turmoil that Inner is making.

"Today we have other things to do other than missions." Sensei crinkles an eye at her.

"But-"

He swings her over his shoulder like a sack of rice, cutting her protests off. Perhaps she's overthinking it, but Sakura can't help but think that Sensei is acting differently than usual. For starters, he had let her use his shower and towel, made even made her breakfast! Sakura can't remember when she had a breakfast, let alone a freshly cooked one. Mama had rarely let her eat at home. Children weren't meant to be seen or heard. Even after she had gotten her hitai-ate, Mama and Papa said she wasn't a _real_ adult.

Bad children get taken away. Is that is Sensei doing now? But she's been good right? Or was she getting punished for not washing the towel? Or is Sensei punishing her eating the breakfast? He said look underneath the underneath, right? Maybe it had been all a test that she failed.

She grips the back of Sensei's vest, watching the direction that he is carrying her to. A district that she's never been to and very few of the people they walked past had children. Sakura forces herself to slow her breathing down. Wherever Sensei is bringing her to, going hysterical would only make things worse. She could feel Inner rising, whelming at the base of her throat, her fingers tightening her grip on his vest. Then his large hand rests on her head, ruffling her hair almost like trying to comfort her.

"Don't worry Sakura-chan, Sensei will be right beside you," he says.

"I'll be good, Sensei," she half-sobs. Tears streaking down her face and though she tries to scrub it away furiously, the more they persisted. "Don't-"

She gulps and he sets her down on an empty bench along the pathway, squatting before her. "Shssh, it'll be okay. Everything will be okay." He pulls out a ragged handkerchief from one of the various vest's pockets and wipes her tears away. "I already did all the paperwork, we're just going to cremate your parents, okay?"

Cremate what?

 _So he wasn't going to give us to the creepy old man?_ Inner says.

She takes the tortoise print handkerchief from Sensei's hand and wipes the rest of the tears.

"Are you ready?" Sensei asks. The look on his face is unfamiliar and Sakura almost giggles at the idea that she might be tell what Sensei is feeling from just the tiny square of his eye. Whoever who can decipher his emotions from that tiny square must be someone very, very close - someone who isn't his least favourite student. Awkward, she guesses judging by the way he squares his shoulders. She clenches the handkerchief and nods, following closely behind him.

Now that she knows where they're going, it makes sense why the people they walked past barely had children following them. She's going to go and watch them _burn_. The discordance of joy and grief stirs in her chest.

She has to look sad.

Normal people look sad when their parents die. Sakura casts an eye to the other families huddling together, memorising their emotions. Inner picks out a mask, a mimicry of the emotions that the families she passed by portrayed and Sakura slips into it as they approached the funeral house.

Her shoulders once relaxed are now shaking, her jaw clenching so hard she thinks she might break it. Inside she is hollow, feeling none of the pain she fakes outwardly. Sensei's warm hand on her shoulders warms her as they enter the funeral parlour and a man approaches them, taking the paperwork from Sensei. How had sensei known about her parents?

She stares resolutely at the ground even when they are steered into a private room.

"Sakura-chan, do you want to say anything to your parents?"

 _See ya like never later!_ Inner crows.

Sakura shakes her head, forcing a tear to slide down her face.

 _I'm sure really sad people actually cry more,_ Inner says. _Think of the time they brought you to the basement._

Her shoulders tremble for real this time, her lungs stuttering as Sakura struggled to rein in the memories. She looks up, seeing the roar of fire within the circle of fuinjutsu.

"They're dead-" she murmurs as if still unable to comprehend the surety of their death.

What was she going to do now? Where was she going to stay? Could she continue being a kunoichi? And how could she? Sensei never did like her. Papa said that it was because of his influence that sensei continued to train her. Now that Papa is gone, Sensei would drop her faster than a poisoned kunai. The trees worked well for a night, but could she take it sleeping there for the next undetermined period?

The fire dies and fuinjutsu on the outer circle lights up, cooling the ashes enough for Sakura to scoop them into the box. She didn't _want_ the box or their _damned_ ashes. She didn't care for them.

'Is it weird to feel empty inside?' she wonders. 'Empty like a doll.'

The box that Sensei places between her hands is warm. It's a nice cypress box. Sakura grips the box tightly. The allure of chucking the ashes into the trash bin grows as they pass each one. The man leads them down the hallway and into a room where he pulls out a map of what seemed to be cemetery with red marks to probably already filled graves.

"Do you want to pick a lot for them?" Sensei asks her.

She shakes her head, clenching her jaw. She's afraid that if she loosens her grip on her jaw or hands, she might blurt out that they don't deserve it. Mama said that dirty laundry shouldn't be aired out in public.

Sakura is the dirty laundry.

She ducks her head, letting Sensei take the box from her. Relief flushes through her. Sakura doesn't want to care about them. She just wants to run to Ino's closet and hide.

Sensei steers her out of the oppressing building. His hand never leaving her back even as they make their way down the streets and it's a comfortable weight. She doesn't know how long this will last, but Sakura hopes it'll last a long time - or at least another day more.

✥.✥.✥

By the time they get administrative building, the sun has risen fully in the sky. Sakura could see the two figures waiting outside. The blond one angrily pacing while the dark blue one leaning against a pillar.

"You're late!" Naruto yells. "You said nine but it's already noon!"

Sensei chuckles. "Did you two do your training routine like I told you to?"

"Of course, you know!? All twenty laps! I beat teme's time too!"

"Dobe, I ran faster than you." Sasuke sneers.

Sakura has to clutch the side of her shirt. Sensei _has_ been giving them specialised training that didn't include her. Assuming that he did and finding out that he really did apparently isn't quite the same effect.

She almost steps back from the trio, had it not been for Sensei's firm hand on her shoulder blades.

Sasuke barely glances at her and when he does, there's a look of utter disdain on it. "Hn." He turns his head away, arms folded across his chest.

"Ne, ne, Sakura-chan, why are you late too? Are you picking up Kaka-sensei's bad habits, you know? Should we expect an orange book too from you? It's almost noon! It's time for lunch! Wanna go on a date? Or ramen? Like a ramen date!"

She leans away from Naruto. The sheer energy he is emitting is more overwhelming than prior to the Chuunin Exams. Luckily, Naruto didn't seem to demand an answer and happily skipped down the road to Ichiraku when Sensei offered to pay.

Perhaps this would be her last team lunch.

Sakura watches her two teammates' back, thinking that maybe - just _maybe_ she could just disappear. Goodbyes are always hard. She tries not to think of the time she had to say goodbye to Ino. If she just took another turn, no one in her team would probably notice.

Or so she thought. Before she could disappear into a side road, Sensei falls beside her, his orange book open in front of him.

"Ichiraku is not for another two blocks, Sakura-chan."

Wouldn't it be easier to just let her slip away now?

 _He probably wants to make fun of you before letting us go,_ Inner says.

Sakura keeps her head bowed, finger twisting the hem of her dress. "What is going to happen to me now, Sensei?"

"Well, since neither of you three were promoted, Team Seven would continue taking D and C rank missions. Apart from the fact that most of our D ranks would consist of clearing the debris, nothing else would change."

All that sounded too good to be true. _Nothing_ would change? Why would he keep her around now that Papa is gone?

Sensei taps her on the head with his book and scratches the back of his head when she looks up. Uneasiness oozes from his posture, like he's trying to say difficult words or things.

"It's ok Sensei," she smiles bitterly at him. He probably mean Team Seven _without_ her and couldn't figure how to tell her. She bows deeply like Mama taught her to. "Thank you for all your help."

"Sakura-chan-" Sensei shakes his head.

"What is going on?" Sasuke eyes them.

"Oh, Sensei helped me with something," she replies, wondering if it would be too forward to announce that her parents are dead. People usually act more delicately around the death of people, right? Mama had done that when Nanako-obaa had died.

" _Something?_ Are you giving _her_ specialised training and not me?" His lip curls. "That's why you two were late, weren't you?"

 _You mean specialised training that Kakashi's already giving you?_ Inner says.

"Sasuke, we had to settle some personal matter-" Sensei starts but Sasuke presses on, stepping into her personal space.

"Why would he give _you_ specialised training and not me? I'm better than _you_!"

"Ah, well." Sakura falters. She always had known that Sasuke was intense, with his one-track mind. Why would he never think that Sensei would give her any time of the day?

 _Probably cuz he already gave you the whole morning,_ Inner quips.

"-he didn't."

"Sasuke-" Sensei pulls him away from her, his eye is colder than Sakura could ever remember seeing. "Sakura's parents perished in the invasion. We went to get them cremated this morning. But I don't see how this is an issue regarding you."

Sasuke rips his arm from Sensei's grip. "It is when I spent the whole morning waiting for you and you spent the whole morning with _her._ "

Sasuke smirks at her. "Well, congratulations on the news. Now you don't have parents to tell you what to do and what not to."

"Sasuke!" Sakura barely hears Sensei scolding him, only the roaring of her blood pounding in her ears.

Whatever happens to her now, she don't have parents to tell her what to do and what not to. She lets her lips stretch across her face, her first genuine smile since she had to say goodbye to Ino. "Yeah. You're right."

✥.✥.✥

His little genin had been unnervingly silent the whole trip from the funeral parlour. Words that he read once upon a time in Jiraiya's book were unusable in this situation. What could he say or do to make this better?

Kakashi remembers how it had been after his father dead. The look that Jiraiya and Tsunade gave him and the words only served to antagonize him. There had been nothing that could make the guilt go away and though Sakura's situation is vastly different from his, he's not stupid to assume that condolences or pitiful looks would make her feel better.

So instead of sending her back to his apartment to rest, he thought that seeing her team might help perk her up a little. She did have that terrible crush on Sasuke, after all and Naruto's cheery attitude might just help.

But instead of perking up even a little, Kakashi could see Sakura withdrawing into her shell. If only there had been time to track and ask Kurenai. Kakashi stifles a long suffering sigh. The jounin-sensei guide book indicated _talking,_ so he fell back, hoping to talk and set her at ease. However, just like not a few moments ago, the words he wants to say were conveniently missing.

She smiles and thanks him for his assistance and maybe things are going right. Instead, his little ball of vengefulness decides to _congratulate_ Sakura. Who in sage's balls do that?

Sasuke only jerks his arm out with a grunt and an all-too familiar sneer. "She said that too," he insists.

Why did Sandaime give him, the socially-stunted assassin, a team of itty bitty, socially awkward genins?

The smile Sakura gives them is not just eerie but disturbing.

He _really_ has his work cut out for him.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** I just wanted to say that my Headcanon is that Kakashi hadn't seen Sakura say that to Sasuke. I think he'd have at least scolded her if she had said it in front of him like Sasuke did.

Sasuke's still an ass and that isn't likely to change... much.

I changed the way she called her parents, because of reasons. Also I'm very proud of Kakashi for standing in queue for 30 mins in chp 1, even if no one else is. *wipes a tear away* I'm very blown away by the reactions I got from chp 1, thank you so much for commenting and bookmarking! I hope this chp lives up to your expectations.

P.s: Kakashi definitely took that handkerchief from Gai


	3. Chapter 3

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort ; Drama  
 **Ship:** Kakashi & Sakura  
 **Triggers(s):** Angst, Implied child abuse, Mental health issues, depression  
 **Rating:** M **  
Additional Tags:** Sasuke doesn't appear much in this, fuck Sasuke, BAMF!Sakura, Kakashi as a good teacher

* * *

Sakura sketches a perfunctory bow and slips away down the alley and along the next street as Sensei start to rip into Sasuke. Now that she's no longer Team Seven, she has to figure out what her next plan is. Would it be better for her to continue as a kunoichi? Could she find a teacher to mentor her? Did she even have anything worth teaching?

Her answers to all three questions are a depressing no. Even if Sensei had mentioned that she had good chakra control - which she doubted that he actually meant it, considering he had followed it up with a gloating to the boys- she was a shuriken in a dozen; in other words, nothing special. Right now, she could probably still function as part of the genin corps. There are buildings to shift through, manpower required to assist the builders to build faster. And when all that is done, then what?

She skirts around a burnt wooden column, eyes averting from homeless shelter.

With all the funerals going on, Yamanaka Flowers would probably need extra help. If she retired, she could ask to…

 _After Ino called you an abomination, do you seriously think she'd let you anywhere near her civilian relatives?_ Inner scoffs.

Sakura cracks her neck, trying to ease the tension that rose from Inner's words. She _could_ go to Yuriko-obasama. Yuriko-obasama is the head of the Haruno clan and leader of the Haruno merchant route. There are always jobs within the clan itself. Even if Yuriko-obasama didn't like her, Sakura is a Haruno. Yuriko-obasama would definitely take her in because her living on the streets would bring shame to the family.

Her feet stopped and Sakura found herself in front of the house, _again._ Unconsciously, she had hurried back to the home.

 _Are you going to be useless and stand around moping again?_ Inner asks.

Unwilling to prove Inner right again, Sakura compelled her feet to step up to the house.

She might as well look for her kit while she's here.

A china cup cracks under her sandals and as she glances down to look at it, the air in her lungs freezes in her throat. The walls have collapsed enough to expose The Stairs. She stares at it, unable to move from it. Inner has taken to howling in rage, her emotions a dichotomy. She needs to kneel and apologise… Papa might…

"..id! Kid! _Kid!"_

She drags her eyes from The Stairs, focusing on the voice. A chuunin waves at her, his senbon bobbing up and down as he calls her. "You might not wanna stand there," he says now that he has her attention. He sighs at her stare and steps over the debris, tugging her back to the street. "Didn't you read the notice?" The chuunin motions to a wooden sign by her house. "The structure integrity has been compromised. Apparently the house is about to collapse into the basement"

"Oh." Sakura blinks slowly at him, her body half turned from the house. In the end she was useless. Useless like she's been her entire life. She clenches her fist, trying to stop the trembling. The chuunin is still staring at her when she turns back to him.

"Where's your team?" he asks awkwardly after a beat.

"I don't have one," she tells him.

The chuunin chews on his senbon then huffs, his broad shoulders shrugging lazily. "Then you're with me now." He steers her to the next street, to another team of shinobi digging through the rubble. "Which is good because we need someone your size and weight-"

Sakura tunes him out, only paying attention when he and the other chuunin gives her instructions. The work that they give her is hard and it helps. She is unable to hear Inner indignant sneers or let the residual fear take over her when she is managing fine requirement of chakra control that she needs to balance herself of half burnt columns or leaping across half collapsed walls for scrolls and traps.

"Come on kid," the chuunin says. He grabs her by her shoulder, steering her to a shinobi encampment where the rest of the team have dispersed. He takes the wrapped onigiri and the cups of lukewarm miso soup and hands it to her while stuffing his pocket with even more, gripping one paper cup with his teeth when his arms become full.

"Oi! Genma!" The staff yells at him. "Only three per person!"

Genma holds his 4 fingers. "Gud fur in ma deam!" He yells back and bumps Sakura on the shoulder, jerking his head towards a tent encampment.

His team is now sitting around the two tents with a small fire start in between them. Must have been what they disappeared off to do, Sakura guesses. "Well, this is it. Home sweet home," he says sarcastically, flopping onto an empty spot. He motions to the spot beside him and purses his lips after giving out the food and soup. "Well this is awkward. Not sure if I ever introduced myself... but I'm Shiranui Genma. " He scratches his cheek sheepishly, dodging a kunai that the kunoichi with pale grey hair chucks at him.

"You mean to say we've been working together for seven hours and you've never even told her your name or introduce us?" She asks. "Well since this dumbass couldn't remember to do it. I'm Kuroda Hisae, the one on my left is Namiashi Raidou and the one who is half asleep eating is Okita Takeo."

Okita almost droops into his soup before he jerks back, eyes blinking owlishly. "I think I'd rather go on a solo A rank than to dig through more rubble," he mutters.

"Or build more houses," Kuroda adds. "Pity all shinobi are village bound unless it's an essential mission..."

"I'm Haruno Sakura," she says, bowing politely.

"Haruno? You must be Kizashi's kid." Kuroda tilts her head at Sakura, her dark eyes crinkling at her. "Where's your dad?"

Okita yawns, putting his empty cup and wrappers with the other trash. "Obviously at the hospital considering he's a good medic. Bet you two hundred ryou that he's swamped completely."

"Who's stupid enough to take that bet?" The others laugh and throw their wrappers at him.

Sakura only sips her miso soup, trying not to think of Papa, the good medic. With the lull of things to do, her mind somehow decides to fixate on how Papa's face looked like when the glow of his medic chakra illuminated it. Her dinner sits uneasily in her stomach. Unused to the weight of anything but her ration bars she rationalises in spite of the two non-ration bar meals she has gotten.

"Sakura-chan, come on. I'll bring you to the washing house. We can get our clothes cleaned while we take a bath there. It'll be fun." Kuroda beckons to her. They loop through rows and rows of tents built too close to each other. Some of the shinobi don't even have a tent, resorting to looping their sleeping backs on the trees.

"The residential district took the bulk of the boss summons fight," she explains. "The shinobi gave up the dorms to temporarily house the civs. Civs can't stand rough necking out for too long."

Kuroda says it like they're delicate and breakable, but Sakura knows that neither Yuriko-obasama nor Saito-ojisan would classify as that. She doesn't call Kuroda out on perceived ideas of civilians. It wouldn't do her any good to draw a chuunin's wrath, adults never like being told that they are wrong.

She strips and puts her clothes with Kuroda's, putting copious shampoo into her hair, following Kuroda's actions. Quickly, she douses herself with water and scampers after Kuroda into the largest bathtub she had ever seen. The one Mama used at home wasn't even this big! Kuroda is leaning back with the small towel flopped over her eyes. Is she supposed to do the same?

Sakura sinks into the water, jerking at the heat. It's hotter than she's ever imagined. Are they supposed to just sit here? How can this be fun? She eyes Kuroda. Kuroda has been sitting there unmoving and the woman opposite them - definitely a kunoichi judging from the scars, has been doing the same as Kuroda. She wets the towel and squeezes it dry. Eyeing Hisae again, she leans her head back and places the towel over her eyes.

The heat rises. Sakura can hear the swishing of the bamboo leaves surrounding the bath house. Across the thin divider, there are sounds of people murmuring, and getting in and out of the bath.

How long is Kuroda planning to stay here? Sakura feels like she's being boiled alive. She pulls the towel off, trying not to fidget.

"Ooh- Hi-chan has a kitten!" A husky alto jabs from behind them, followed with a splash to her left side. "Lookie, lookie." The fingers cup Sakura's face, forcing her to turn to stare at the speaker. A large smirk stretched from the woman's face, her dark purple hair hastily bundled on the back on her head. "Awww she's so cute with her pink hair!"

"Anko, don't mess with her. She ain't mine," Kuroda drawls.

"Clearly not. She's all red-faced from heat and you're still letting her sit here," Anko's companion says, her bright red eyes sweeping up and down Sakura's frame.

Sakura hunched, sinking into the water, recognising that look that the dark haired kunoichi is giving her. It's the same look that mama gives right before scolding her. She's focused on trying to stop her stomach from flipping that she isn't ready for flinch that rises unbidden when the kunoichi raises her hand to grab Sakura. She manages to wrestle the flinch down but the awkward silence that follows tells her that she hadn't been as successful as she had hoped it'd be. They glance at each other, as though some unspoken conversation is going on in front of her and the dark-haired kunoichi with her red eyes reached forward again. Her hand gently gripping Sakura's bicep and lifting her up onto the edge of the pool.

"Come on," the dark-haired kunoichi says. "You're going to faint if you stay in there any longer."

"But Kuroda-san..." Sakura half-protests. What if Kuroda gets mad at her for leaving? Would she still get paid for today's work?

Kuroda chokes and says through stifled heaving laughs, "kid. It's Hisae, not Kuroda. You can call me Hisae-neechan or Hisae-senpai. Kuroda-san are my parents or for civilians."

"Hisae…" She clenches her fist, forcing her mouth to obey Kuroda's orders. "...san."

She ducks her head, waiting for Kuroda to berate her; except Kuroda only barks a laugh with a lazy wave. "Just like Kizashi. I'll take her, Kurenai." Kuroda nods at the dark-haired kunoichi and stands from the pool, her feet slapping noisily towards the lockers.

✥.✥.✥

When the spiteful words that Sakura had come to expect didn't come on the way home or the days after, the tension in her shoulders eased up a little.

After the first day, it was clear that Genma lied. The team really didn't need her and while they didn't need her, they didn't leave her alone. Raidou taught her how to lighten her weight with chakra in order to scale perilous-looking beams. Hisae, the tracker of the group, taught her how to enhance her sense of smell. Takeo, the chakra sensor, wasn't able to teach chakra sensing to her. Apparently chakra sensing is a particularly niche skill that required inborn talents. It was a pity. Of all the things that Sakura would have liked to learn, chakra sensing would be one of them.

Genma, on the other hand, simply hovered over her. He monitored her chakra, her food intake, nagged at her to eat more and made her take breaks even when she wasn't that tired. Was this what having an older brother felt like?

Sakura reminded herself not to get attached. After all the rebuilding is done, she would be shuffled back into the corps and would be probably dropped from the whole programme. Soon, she would have to go and beg Yuriko-obasama for a job. She chokes down another onigiri that Genma stacked on her plate, trying to distance herself from the warmth they were giving her.

 _Don't trust them. They are adults. All Adults lie,_ Inner reminded her.

"Are you going back to your team soon?" Genma asks four days later.

"My team?" Sakura repeated with a furrow between her eyebrows. "I don't have a team."

Hisae shakes her head. "Now now, Saa-chan. My little cousin has been moping around here every night to check on you, so don't insist you don't have a team."

"Cousin?"

"Kakashi is my cousin on my mother side. He's terrible when he's mopey. I don't know what your team did that warranted Kakashi thinking that you wanted space, but it's been over a week."

Genma nods in agreement to Hisae's words. "It's time to go back and reconcile with them. And if that doesn't work, you can always beat them into the ground until they apologise." He pulls his senbon out of his mouth and hands it to her. "I'll even give you my trusty senbon to throw at him."

Sakura looks at it in disgust. "Genma-san…"

Hisae throws a kunai at Genma. "Don't be gross Genma. How long has _that_ been in your mouth?"

"But it's my trusty senbon!"

"Trusty my ass! I know you have the same ones in your pouch!"

"They're different!"

Raidou leans over. His scar ripples over his dark skin as he smiles. Sakura thinks that Raidou is the coolest among all of them. He's always so patient and quiet, unlike Hisae and Takeo. "Even if you don't like them, you should at least try to reconcile with them."

She looks down at her half-eaten onigiri in her hands. "What if… what if they don't want me…"

"Considering Kakashi has been here every night to check on you, asking how you were today and so on, I don't believe he wouldn't want you."

None of these people have realised how bad she is. That's why they are so accepting. "But I'm a _bad_ kunoichi," she whispers.

"Sakura-chan, look at me," Raidou orders softly. She tilts her face up, eyes falling back down, unable to meet his eyes. Now that he knows, he wouldn't want to be her friend. "Sakura-chan. Look at me," he repeats. She raises her eyes, meeting his eyes then quickly falling back to his collarbone.

"Sakura-chan…" he sighs and raises his hand, slow enough that Sakura can anticipate his motion and ruffles her head. "You're a bad kunoichi and you hate it right?"

She nods.

"Then all you have to do is keep working at it," he says like it's a matter of fact. Sakura knows otherwise. Papa always told her that she was useless and would never amount to anything. Useless, talentless Sakura.

"There are only those who put in effort and those who don't." Raidou continues. "That's the only difference between good and bad-"

"That's not true," Sakura says, appalled that she interrupted an adult speaking.

"What's not true?" Raidou stared at her. "Tell me, Sakura-chan. What's not true?"

"... Papa… Papa said…" She wrung her hands nervously. She shouldn't have gotten angry and interrupted Raidou. Now he wants to know what horrible thoughts she's thinking, she should have stayed quiet like Mama always told her to be.

"Papa what?" He prompts her again.

"Papa said… that… that… I'm a… talentless, useless kunoichi," she replies, her voice faltering towards the end.

"You're not. He's wrong." Raidou waves her silent and continues on, "you took less than three hours to pick up the chakra weight trick. Majority of jounin and even anbu that I taught that to took days to master it. You're not useless and you're certainly not talentless."

She gaped at him, mind floundering for protests. The very idea that she had some form of talent astounded her.

"And if you go back to your team and they don't want you, then you can always come back to us. Same camp, same timing and if we're not here, you can always go to the jounin lounge and look for us."

 _All Adults lie,_ Inner repeats to her.

Sakura only nods. Whether it's to Raidou's words or Inner's words, she can't tell.

* * *

 **Author's Notes:** Surprise! An update the features Sakura's self-esteem issues. I wanted to add Team 7 in this chp, but it didn't flow quite well. So ho-hum, I cut it off and we'll see them next chp instead. Next chp is particularly the one I've been looking forward to. Should have also mentioned that this is a fic of Sakura growing to be a badass as opposed to starting out that way. It's going to take slow and steady.

I probably should mention the quick updating is artificial. Once we've caught up with all the published chps, we'll resume slow updates...

P.s: Socially awkward Kakashi has taken to stalking Sakura around instead of talking to her directly


	4. Chapter 4

**Genre:** Hurt/Comfort ; Drama  
 **Ship:** Kakashi & Sakura  
 **Triggers(s):** Angst, Implied child abuse, Mental health issues, depression  
 **Rating:** M **  
Additional Tags:** Sasuke doesn't appear much in this, fuck Sasuke, BAMF!Sakura, Kakashi as a good teacher

* * *

The mood in the camp is weird when Kakashi slinks into it late at night.

"Ah, Kakashi. You're here," Genma greeted.

Kakashi cast his eye to where Sakura is sharing the tent with Hisae, taking two quick steps to peer into the tent. "What happened?" he asked after ascertaining that she is all physically sound.

"Did you know? Or at least suspect something?" Hisae says. The campfire flickers, casting shadows across her face. Though the shape of her eyes were mostly from her dad, most of her remaining features reminded Kakashi of his father and a part of him ached. Had it not been for his little genin, Kakashi would have safely remained far away from the rest of the Hatake Clan. The shame at the sight of them seemed to yawn at him.

"Something?" Kakashi asks dumbly.

"She flinched rather violently when Kurenai reached over for her. Not the sort of flinch you get from anticipating an attack." Not the sort she'd get from training goes unsaid. Hisae stares into the fire, her silence thickening into a heavy tension as Kakashi tried to think back on all the training practices he had with her. None of their conditioning training had brought up issues. "Her mother, perhaps?" she finally says. "We need to bring the mother in to see if she's…"

"Or her father," Raidou adds.

"Her _father?_ " Genma repeats. "Have you met him? Kizashi's a good person."

"I know! It's just…" Raidou trails off. "It's just… she said Kizashi called her a talentless, useless kunoichi. It just bugged me."

Takeo scoffs. "Maybe you all are overreacting. I'm sure whatever that flinch was, it might have been a genin's aborted attempt for reflexes. And I'm sure _all_ of us had arguments with our parents that ended up in bitter words."

"Still. We should at least check. Bring them in, check it out. If it clears, then it's good, if not then at least we caught it," Hisae insists.

"She's a genin! A kunoichi of Konohagakure. You mean she couldn't stop her civilian mum?"

"It's not about the physical-" Genma motions angrily to Takeo.

"It doesn't matter," Kakashi interrupts, his quiet voice cutting through their argument. "I didn't know she hadn't told you, but they're dead."

The campfire falls silent at his words and really, Kakashi shouldn't have been surprised that Sakura hadn't told them anything. Apart from that day at the morgue, Sakura hadn't displayed any signs of grief. She carried on her day-to-day slightly subdued but otherwise normal. Kakashi, himself had been through the stages many times of his life. He knew the stages of grieving intimately. His little genin, is like him, in this emotional sense.

Had she been abused? Sakura, like Naruto, has always been upbeat and easy with her smiles. Even if she is useless as a genin. He would like to think that he is perceptive enough to pick it up, but truthfully, he hadn't spent a lot of time with her.

The Chuunin Exams was supposed to make them bond better in adversity, not make it worse. His own Chuunin Exams had helped to bond better with his teammates then. Kakashi firmly stuck the thoughts of Obito and Rin back of his mind, refusing to fiddle with the scabs.

He sinks his hands deeper into his pocket, exhausted from trying to care for three emotional-wrecked genin, almost wishing he could go back to his anbu days. _His_ genin, a part of him bares its teeth to the thought of running away.

Genma rubs the back his neck, his senbon clacking against his teeth loudly in the silence. "I guess… she wouldn't have told us anyway. It's not we were friends before this… invasion."

Raidou mournfully agreed with him. "It's not like we could raise the dead to find out either."

Kakashi chokes. "But I know someone who can," he chuckles lowly, tilting his head slightly to avoid Genma's senbon.

"Too soon Kakashi!"

"Are we going to do anything about Sakura?" Hisae asks. "It doesn't seem right… to just leave it alone."

Genma shrugs. "What _can_ we do? Ask her? If anything had happened, it'd be like putting salt to a freshly closed wound. And none of us is probably close enough to actually get an answer. We met her a week ago and Kakashi here is famous for keeping people at arm's length. I _still_ don't know how his face looks like. And _I've_ known him since he was _six_."

Slumping his shoulders, Kakashi sighs. "My face has nothing to do with this."

"No, but Gen's right." Raidou shakes his head. "You probably spend the minimum hours on your genin. You probably don't even know that Sakura's a mini-prodigy in the making. She thinks you don't even want her."

"Mini- what? _What_?"

"Mini- _prodigy,_ Kakashi. She picked up the chakra weight trick in three hours. Even _you_ took half a day." Genma lifts an eyebrow at him. "But you don't know that, do you?"

Kakashi hunched further, unwilling to admit to it. Sakura hadn't shown a shred of interest in being a serious kunoichi, why should he make the effort to train her if she wasn't? Not even training at home, and just barely completing his training regimen. The bare essentials. Naruto and Sasuke were far more interested in being serious shinobi. So what if she had talent? Kakashi knew that talent didn't make a shinobi.

Obito was one such.

His chest throbs painfully at the memory of Obito. Obito was talented enough to be assigned to his team, just not interested enough to maintain being one.

Hisae leans over and touches his arm. "I know you believe that she has to _want_ before you'd train her, but if what we think about her mum is right, then she might need encouragement to grow." Kakashi takes a seat beside her and lets her slump her arm around his shoulders. "Promise me you'll try and be gentle."

He heaves a large sigh, leaning into his cousin. "Ok."

✥.✥.✥

Sensei was already sitting by the tent when Sakura woke up the next morning.

She briefly entertains the idea that Sensei is really keeping her on team seven then scoffs.

 _He didn't even bother to train you, why would you suddenly matter?_ Inner says moodily.

Sakura scarfs down the breakfast Sensei had brought for the team and her, trying to bury the hurt. Regardless of what Raidou and Hisae said, Sakura knew better. In the bigger picture, Haruno Sakura is someone that would never amount to anything. Below average taijutsu, below average chakra stores, no kekkai genkai, no clan. So what if she had excelled in knowledge? Nothing else but that stood out. Even with Papa's training, she had never managed to catch up with her peers.

Haruno Sakura didn't matter.

She wasn't going to let optimism blindly raise her hopes. If she had no expectations then she wouldn't need to suffer. Staring blankly at her empty plate, she tries to swallow the fear in her throat.

 _Don't bother dragging this out. Might as well get over and done with this,_ Inner nudges her.

Hisae said that Sensei had been asking after her, but _really,_ who wanted her? She stands, dropping the plate into the used dish box. Genma grins at her, slapping a hefty slap on her back. "Remember you can always beat them into the ground until they apologise."

"Genma… Please don't teach my student bad things." Sensei's tone almost sounds like a petulant whine in her ears. Her stoic, lazy teacher whining. Sakura ducks her head, walking quickly towards him, resolutely refusing to react to their bantering.

All Adults lie. Haruno Sakura didn't matter, she reminds herself, squashing the fledgeling hope that maybe, just _maybe_ they wanted her.

"They aren't _bad_ things if she needs them."

Sensei sighs and pushes her towards the exit. "Genma is _such_ a bad influence. I can't believe I let you stay with them for a week," he grumbles.

Sakura fists her dress, trying not to give away the anxiety rolling in her stomach. Real Sakura has no place in the real world. Real Sakura is pathetic and shy. Breathing in deeply, she slowly releases her breath, donning her extroverted Sakura persona. She already has accidently let Sensei and Sasuke see parts of her real self, she can't risk them catching on. After all, no one likes her real self.

 _Definitely better to pretend to be extroverted,_ Inner agrees.

She blinks and plasters a large smile on her face, half-bobbing with each step. "Bet Sasuke-kun has grown more handsome since I last saw him," she says, mimicking the adoring look Ino frequently spotted. Faking an infatuation with the Uchiha grates on her even more now, now that she doesn't have the fear of her mother's wrath hanging over her. Sakura didn't care if Sasuke looked at her anymore and there is no one to show her efforts anymore.

"Sakura-chan, what Sasuke said the other day was terrible of him-"

She spins on the ball of her foot to grin at Sensei. "It's okay, Sensei! Sasuke-kun was right after all!"

"No, he wasn't," Sensei says firmly, stilling her with a heavy hand on her shoulder. "It's okay to grieve for your parents. It's okay to cry."

"I'm a shinobi now, Sensei." Sakura didn't get it. Shinobi weren't supposed to show their tears, shouldn't Sensei be frowning on her crying? Or is there some unsaid social etiquette that she is missing?

"Just because you're a shinobi doesn't mean you're not human."

"I am fine, Sensei." She shakes his hand off and runs a few steps forward. "Come on! Just because you are always late, doesn't mean I have to be too." She turns, pretending not to feel Sensei's gaze on her back. Why are people always so contradicting?

✥.✥.✥

Naruto jumps off the handrails, bouncing towards her the moment he sees her. "Sakura-chan! Where did you go? Kaka-sensei said you had things to deal with and you weren't coming for a while! Then I had to do team practices with Teme. Kaka-sensei was really hard on Teme too and Teme was so sulky the whole time you were away. It's so terrible! And all the D rank missions we had to do without you!" He pauses in mid-rant and then does a mini-shriek. "Kaka-sensei! You're here! You're not late! Teme! Kaka-sensei is not late today!"

Sasuke skulks towards them, a deep frown furrowed between his eyes. "You _came_ ," he says to her like he's surprised she even showed up.

 _Now would be a great time to throw yourself at him,_ Inner prompts.

Sakura twists her fingers together, trying to drag the energy to put on the charade. "Good morning, Sasuke-kun!" she chirps. Her smile plasters oddly on her face and even without Inner telling her, Sakura knows she screwed up the greeting.

"Hn-" He turns from her.

"Sasuke," Sensei says in a half-scolding voice. "Remember our talk?"

Sasuke's lips spasms, stiffly folding his arms across his chest.

"Sasuke…" Sensei's tone is colder now and heavy with warning. "There will be no training for you if you don't apologise."

"It's okay, Sensei!" Sakura quickly interrupts. "Sasuke-kun did nothing wrong!"

Sasuke jerks his chin at Sensei with a self-satisfied air.

"No Sasuke. Just because she _will_ bend backwards for you, doesn't mean you _should_ let her do it. You were in the wrong, you need to admit to it."

"Ne, ne, Kaka-sensei, what did Teme do?" Naruto asks, wedging himself in-between Sensei and Sasuke.

Sensei leans away from Naruto and oddly, still has no orange book in his hand. "He congratulated Sakura on losing her parents."

Naruto gapes at Sensei, his blue eyes flickering between Sasuke and her. "Wow, Teme. You really _are_ a Teme." He whirls around, sticking his face right in front of Sasuke's. "You definitely need to apologise. Even _I_ know that's wrong."

Sasuke harrumphs, turning his face from them. "She did it too. Why should I apologise for repeating her words?"

"Two wrongs don't make a right, Sasuke," Sensei tells him, exasperated.

"It's okay," Sakura repeats. "Sasuke-kun did nothing wrong."

"She doesn't care anyway, I don't see why you care."

"Whatever it is. No apologies, no training."

Sasuke gnashes his teeth angrily, then finally looks at her with a sneer. "I'm… _soorrry,_ " Sasuke says. " _Happy?_ " He asks Sensei.

The look that Sasuke gives her is also as frightening as Mama's. Why Sensei and Naruto insisted on Sasuke apologizing to her baffles her. Why was it wrong of Sasuke to congratulate her? She _is_ happier now, is that wrong?

Sensei slumps his shoulders with a sigh. "Fine. Start your laps. It's time for Team Seven's dodge training."

Naruto groans loudly. "Sage of the six paths, not dodge training! This is all your fault, Sasuke!"

Sensei whips out his shurikens and shoots one at Sakura, narrowly missing her flesh by a millimetre. She jerks out of her thoughts, staring wide eyes at him. Is she being included in training? Isn't this their specialized training time?

"What are you waiting for, Sakura-chan? That includes you too."

Sakura quickly hurries after her two teammates, dodging his shurikens.

 _Includes her? Since when we are still part of Team Seven?_ Inner asks.

Sakura couldn't help reflecting on Raidou's words. If Sensei came to check on her every night, then he _did_ want her to stay, right?

✥.✥.✥

Sakura stretches. Her back cracks from the long hours of moving through the rubble and debris. Genin missions are unlike the ones she did with Genma's team. Those had been able stabilising buildings, rebuilding the foundation, removing traps. Even Sensei hadn't been spared the brunt of D rank missions. Unlike all those times where he had sat around and watched them work, Sensei had been moving the large pieces of wall and beams that none of them were capable of moving, though Sakura thought that with chakra enhancement, she might have been able to move them. If circulating her chakra in a particular manner could lighten her weight, surely there had to be a pattern for strength and durability.

She tosses the last few pieces of rock into a pile for Naruto the clear, missing the chuunin team's presence and bantering already. After this morning's argument, team seven had fallen into an awkward silence. Before today, Sakura didn't know Naruto was capable of being silent for an hour, let alone the seven long hours and he hadn't even asked her out for ramen or a date.

She stands and rotates her arm, feeling her joints crack loudly as Sensei motions them over.

"Today's mission is over as of now. Tomorrow, I expect to see you at five a.m. at training ground seven."

Naruto makes a loud disgruntled noise and jabs Sasuke in the ribs. "That's like eight Kakashi-time, ne?"

Sasuke grunts, appearing to agree with Naruto. She hears a muffled snort as Sensei ruffles his hair roughly. "Back talks isn't something to be proud of, Naruto."

Naruto swipes Sensei's hand away and ducks away. "No, but forward thinking is!"

She watches Sensei and Naruto rib each other with Sasuke adding on with his grunts, and a sense of isolation envelops her. She shuffles back and team seven doesn't even notices. She dithers. Or perhaps, it's like that time with the Ninja tag. They said she was on their team, but she really wasn't. That made sense. Officially, she is part of Team Seven, but unofficially, she's just a nominal member.

Genma had said that she _could_ go back to them. They probably would be okay with putting her up for one more night, right? She backs up further from them, giving team seven more space for their roughhousing.

"Five in the morning, just as the sun appears on the horizon. Not six, not seven," Sensei says.

Naruto nods solemnly and turns towards where Sakura knew Ichiraku had set up their shop. "See you at eight, Kaka-sensei." With that, Sasuke separates from them, taking off to wherever he goes to after training.

Sensei exhales loudly. "Naruto's been spending too much time with the Nara."

Deciding that her presence is no longer require, Sakura slips into one of the side roads only to be stopped by Sensei.

"Where do you think you're going?" Sensei catches her by the elbow.

Sakura stiffens, fighting the urge to pull it out of his hand. Had she done something wrong? "I was… I was…"

"Come on," Sensei says. His voice is uncharacteristically gentle. "You can sleep in my apartment. But first, why don't we head to your house and find some more clothes for you to rotate in?" He rubs her threadbare sleeve with his fingers. "Your clothes don't look like they can survive any more washings."

"It's okay, Sensei!" Sakura chirps. "I have enough!"

"Well, even if you don't want clothes, let's go back to your house and pick out some things you want to keep."

Sakura's stomach flops when she remembers The Stairs are exposed. "N-no! It's okay." She smiles a little too widely and Sensei frowns.

"Listen. I know you're probably thinking that no one can understand what you're feeling." He steers her down the street, a hand on her back. "But when I was young, my mother died. My father… he killed himself a year later. I hated my father for leaving me behind." His voice is quiet, barely audible over the din of the streets. "In a fit of anger, I burnt all their effects. I was six. Now I'm twenty-two. I wish I kept one or two."

They stop in front of her house. The same broken beams and collapsed walls, the half-burnt garden where Mama's flowers used to be.

She takes a step to the house. Sensei's presence is right behind her. The wind blows. Sakura can see Mama's curtains fluttering in the breeze. The books from Papa's study is strewn across the ground, damp and half mouldy.

Inner is yelling for her to move at the back of her mind, echoing the jitteriness in her muscles. She takes another step. Her hand reaches out for the fence - the half broken fence that is smashed along the neighbour's uprooted tree.

She'll have to get whatever things she has eventually. Sensei is here. She can do it with Sensei watching her. She _has_ to.

She puts one foot after another and stops at the doorway. Her hand shakes as she leans against the frame. She closes her eyes unwilling to see The Stairs. Her foot trembles, Sensei's stare weighs heavily on her back.

Just a thing or two, like Sensei said, Sakura tells herself.

She picks up a random book, it's a book the anatomy of the body. Her stomach lurches. She can taste the bile in the mouth. She remembers Papa using this book to teach her. Turning around, she pulls the edges of her mouth upwards. "Sensei, I got-"

Her foot slips on a damp cupboard door. She jerks back to regain her balance. Her eyes are wide open, scanning the ground for anything else she could trip on and lands on half hidden Stairs.

 _No, no, no!_

Her body convulses, her throat muscles protest as she tries to heave air into her lungs.

 _No, Papa._

"Sakura-chan," she hears a masculine voice call her. A warm hand is on her bicep and she screams, drawing a kunai.

"NO!"

✥.✥.✥

"I need your help," says Kakashi the moment he lands on the tree branch next to Tenzo.

Tenzo groans, leaning his head back onto the tree branch. "I don't want anything to do with your shenanigans, I _will_ not help you prank-" he pauses at Kakashi's glare. "What happened?" Tenzo asks, quickly gobbling his onigiri down.

Kakashi leaps deeper into the shinobi encampment where Genma and his team had been sleeping. Tenzo is right behind him, and he can practically smell the curiosity wafting off his kohai. Better than his little genin. Kakashi clenches his jaw as he remembers how sharp she had stank of fear.

Kizashi was a good medic, and he was good with children too. In a hospital where bedside manners are barely important, Kizashi connected well with people. Kakashi respected that man, except after that… that… _fiasco,_ he doesn't think he is wrong; he just doesn't want to be right.

"Hi-chan, I need your help. A third person's point of view, if you must know," he says without a preamble.

Genma stands up with Hisae. "Is Sakura okay?"

Kakashi nods his head. Sakura would be as okay she could ever be. Finding out what happened is important now. Would she want anyone to know? He couldn't imagine that she would. His father hadn't even abused him, and even now he still has difficulty thinking let alone talking about him.

"Come," he just says.

The two exchange looks but they don't ask any further questions, immediately following him as he takes off to the direction of the residential district. Kakashi knew they would come willingly and without too many questions. He takes a deep breath, trying to don his stoic anbu persona again and failing. His little genin needs his help and if he's right… then he has failed her for as long as he had been her sensei.

 _He should have known._

Kakashi hears Genma suck in a breath when they land in front of Sakura's house. There is still the stench of Sakura's fear from this afternoon.

"What the _fuck_ happened?" Hisae demands. Her nose has always been a hundred times better than his. Hisae's nostrils flare as she breathes in deeply, her teeth clenched so tightly that Kakashi thought she might break them. "Is it Kizashi?" she says and shakes her head. "No, Kizashi was a good man." Her words echoing the feelings in him. Her feet picking through the place, uncaring of the debris lying in her wake. Considering how Genma looks distinctively ill, he must have put two and two together.

"What do you want us to do here?" Genma puts away his senbon with an uncomfortably serious look and turns to Kakashi.

"The building, Tenzo." Kakashi says, stubbornly ignoring the question. What _did_ he want them to do? Show the world how Kizashi and his wife might have abused a little kid? Show how he failed as an anbu to pick it up?

Wordlessly, Tenzo throws up wooden pillars to reinforce the building's structure. "Is that all you needed?" He squeezes Kakashi's bicep, the only form of support Tenzo knows how to show.

"Her clothes…" Kakashi starts, rubbing his mouth uneasily. As twenty odd year old men, none of them would feel comfortable picking for her clothes and underwear. He turns to Hisae who is angrily digging through the broken walls and beams.

Sakura could barely make a step this afternoon. There is no way she could stand a trip here to get her things.

"...her books, anything you think she owned… Prioritising her clothes," he adds."Her smell is the strongest at the corner second floor, so you can start from that bedroom."

They nod, leaping onto the beams and through the broken wall. Kakashi sighs. He can't keep avoiding this. Well, he _can,_ but that would mean that he would be a bad sensei. Kakashi has strived for anything less than perfection. He's not a good man, and not a good shinobi, but damn will he try to be one. So despite his yearning to just run away, he grits his proverbial loins and makes his way to Hisae.

"Kashi-" Hisae looks up at him, her hands reaching for his vest. "I thought… I thought, you _know,_ her mother might have beaten her. I saw the way she reacted to Kurenai, I _assumed_ so. Civilians… they can't deal too much damage and now that she's a genin, her physical abilities would start to outstrip her mother's..." Hisae shakes her head and drags him to a set of stairs leading downwards.

"Kizashi was a good man. He was always kind and caring. He never showed an inclination for T&I stuff! How could we miss this!?" She motions furiously at the stairs.

A jag of fear shoots up in him. _T &I? Like torture? _

He hurries down the stairs only to stagger backwards. It reeked of Sakura's fear along with Kizashi's joy and anger. Had he taken it out on his daughter? Kakashi channels chakra into his eyes and the shadows of the basement illuminate within his eyesight. He can see everything.

"Almost looks like a clinic, doesn't it?" Hisae says.

Except it definitely wasn't.

"Why did no one notice it?"

Hisae shuffles next to him, tugging her traditional Hatake face mask on to dampen the smell. "You know what else doesn't leave scars?" she murmurs. "Medics."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hello! A bit more insight on Sakura's issues and now the adults know. I made it vague on what The Stairs is, because I didn't want to make it graphical. So in case anyone didn't guess it, Kizashi tortured Sakura.

We're arriving at the crux of this fic and we will be shortly be heading into the recovery part of this fic. Sakura will get better, she will be stronger and she will be happy. This ofc, doesn't include Sasuke in her happy ending or any man for that matter. My Sakura doesn't need a man to be happy.

P.S: Tenzo is definitely guilty of helping Kakashi prank people.

* * *

 **Important note: **I also had a fairly good reminder last chp why I don't like posting on ffn. I'd like to remind you all that this is free entertainment and also I'm extremely thankful for the fact that this fic was not posted on FFn originally. I have repeatedly refused to post fics on FFn because of harassment and rude reviewers. And only 3 chps in, I'm reminded of my decision why. I do not appreciate being spoken to like that and I will not tolerate it.

Therefore chp 4 is the last chp being posted on FFn.


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